its not typical that i share my personal life experiences online but i thought to myself 'hey, its your site its your rules' and plus i love a meaningful easter egg.
at the time of my moms funeral i was griefing too hard to give a speech so i thought i would share it here so it sees some sort of light.
tanya johnson, my mother, my father, my sister, my brother.
tougher than the rock, louder than a packed out colosseum whose laughter is so toxic your stomach aches. she is survivals fittest, from treating cancer how mayweather did pacquiao to waking up at 5am 5 days a week and nearly getting home at 5pm for 20+ years with no excuse or word of "i cant".
i still feel the 7pm breeze pass through my shirt when we'd walk to xpressway laundromat on fridays to knock out bags & bags of laundry for the upcoming week. our best friend was those silver george washingtons; from the couch creases to 711, cvs & walgreens.
during my senior year of high school, i was lost. my mind was a wobbly compass arm, i didn't know what i was doing. uncle took me in after i graduated and assisted. i achieved what was necessary to make life easier; a drivers license & two jobs.
fast forward a few months later, i heard the news that you had cancer. i of course broke down & sobbed, my heart dropped.
i had to reconnect.
i reached out to you out of the blue one day after work & asked where you lived, you sent the address, i got lost and eventually found you.
a hospital bed was positioned in the living room of this small 1bdbr apartment. my emotions sunk. your hair was gone, your hand was broken but your smile remained. your voice spoke warm and your open arms felt like i didn't miss anything.
i moved in .
i tied your hokas, fixed your sandwiches, cleaned your shirts & made spaghetti. we'd rent movies in the living room together & sometimes not due to spending too much time asking friends what their login's were.
summer ~ growth.
id bark to luis religiously of getting away. nothing was for me in san jose, i needed to live. we sat on the edge of the bed facing the closet mirror while you didn't believe me til the day of. we both broke down sobbing while i promised to come back when the time was right.
1,841 miles later, i called you informing you we arrived.
october 22' the family flew me back.
we weren't sure what was happening, you loved to bottle up more than kirkland (you're probably glancing at me while typing that joke).
we all gathered at the hospital, visiting your room in groups of two, all feeling your spirit was missing. seeing you in such a low state destroyed us. - we love you.
when the time was over, i flew back to ord & came up with a game plan: move back and return the favor you blessed me with - life.
i started working overtime, picking up shifts & even selling my most valued items in order to buy a car (to take you to appointments) & have enough money to drive back. when you were awake, you came up with the idea of starting a gofundme. we raised enough (thank u all).
i began driving back the 15th and arrived the 17th. i pulled up to vmc, parked in the emergency lane at the exact time visitation hours were over. i told the front desk off & called you. they eventually let me in & i got in.
march 25th you were released, i pulled up the car, lifted you in & pushed you up the stairs of the apartment and placed you on the bed.
this was time to shine.
from that day on - it was a routine -
smoothie, pills, diaper, breakfast, lunch, diaper, dinner, diaper - repeat.
fast forward to april 6th, i woke up
smoothie, pil-
your wings flew as i informed emergency services.
you are the definition of a life lived
you had the highest highs and the lowest lows
i will always envy you but more than that, love you.
from your legacy - jacob earl johnson.
its not typical that i share my personal life experiences online but i thought to myself 'hey, its your site its your rules' and plus i love a meaningful easter egg.
at the time of my moms funeral i was griefing too hard to give a speech so i thought i would share it here so it sees some sort of light.
tanya johnson, my mother, my father, my sister, my brother.
tougher than the rock, louder than a packed out colosseum whose laughter is so toxic your stomach aches. she is survivals fittest, from treating cancer how mayweather did pacquiao to waking up at 5am 5 days a week and nearly getting home at 5pm for 20+ years with no excuse or word of "i cant".
i still feel the 7pm breeze pass through my shirt when we'd walk to xpressway laundromat on fridays to knock out bags & bags of laundry for the upcoming week. our best friend was those silver george washingtons; from the couch creases to 711, cvs & walgreens.
during my senior year of high school, i was lost. my mind was a wobbly compass arm, i didn't know what i was doing. uncle took me in after i graduated and assisted. i achieved what was necessary to make life easier; a drivers license & two jobs.
fast forward a few months later, i heard the news that you had cancer. i of course broke down & sobbed, my heart dropped.
i had to reconnect.
i reached out to you out of the blue one day after work & asked where you lived, you sent the address, i got lost and eventually found you.
a hospital bed was positioned in the living room of this small 1bdbr apartment. my emotions sunk. your hair was gone, your hand was broken but your smile remained. your voice spoke warm and your open arms felt like i didn't miss anything.
i moved in .
i tied your hokas, fixed your sandwiches, cleaned your shirts & made spaghetti. we'd rent movies in the living room together & sometimes not due to spending too much time asking friends what their login's were.
summer ~ growth.
id bark to luis religiously of getting away. nothing was for me in san jose, i needed to live. we sat on the edge of the bed facing the closet mirror while you didn't believe me til the day of. we both broke down sobbing while i promised to come back when the time was right.
1,841 miles later, i called you informing you we arrived.
october 22' the family flew me back.
we weren't sure what was happening, you loved to bottle up more than kirkland (you're probably glancing at me while typing that joke).
we all gathered at the hospital, visiting your room in groups of two, all feeling your spirit was missing. seeing you in such a low state destroyed us. - we love you.
when the time was over, i flew back to ord & came up with a game plan: move back and return the favor you blessed me with - life.
i started working overtime, picking up shifts & even selling my most valued items in order to buy a car (to take you to appointments) & have enough money to drive back. when you were awake, you came up with the idea of starting a gofundme. we raised enough (thank u all).
i began driving back the 15th and arrived the 17th. i pulled up to vmc, parked in the emergency lane at the exact time visitation hours were over. i told the front desk off & called you. they eventually let me in & i got in.
march 25th you were released, i pulled up the car, lifted you in & pushed you up the stairs of the apartment and placed you on the bed.
this was time to shine.
from that day on - it was a routine -
smoothie, pills, diaper, breakfast, lunch, diaper, dinner, diaper - repeat.
fast forward to april 6th, i woke up
smoothie, pil-
your wings flew as i informed emergency services.
you are the definition of a life lived
you had the highest highs and the lowest lows
i will always envy you but more than that, love you.
from your legacy - jacob earl johnson.
